


I Dare You

by extremelyperturbed



Category: Hannibal (TV)
Genre: Bizarre Foods, Comedy, Gen, Gross, None of the food is human, Trolling!Hannibal, Unflappable!Jack
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-08
Updated: 2014-06-08
Packaged: 2018-02-03 19:57:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 674
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1755735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/extremelyperturbed/pseuds/extremelyperturbed
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In response to this kinkmeme:</p><p>"This prompt has two parts, and whichever part you decide to fill, I'll love you forever.</p><p>_ Part 1: As a way to mess with Jack, Hannibal keeps making increasingly weird/gross dishes and inviting him over for dinner.<br/>_ Part 2: Even as the dishes reach Hannibal's level of WTF, Jack continues to gobble them down with "compliment to the chef", while the good doctor himself has to hide his shudder with every bite."</p><p> </p><p>I have not eaten any of the foods mentioned.  Descriptions of flavors and textures are from articles & websites that I list in the end notes and gladly give credit.  If you are susceptible to vomiting, don't read.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Dare You

“I notice that you have an adventurous palate,” said Hannibal. Jack seemed to be game for almost anything he prepared. He had been impressed when Jack had eaten kholodets, a dish of cold meat jelly with fish suspended in the mold as if swimming in it.

“I’m an Army brat. My mom was sent all over the world. You get used to eating a lot of different foods. The only thing that really matters is the taste.”

“Oh . . . I’m so glad to hear that. I have many more interesting things that I’d like to share with you.”

“Bring it on.”

Hannibal smiled. “My first challenge is Rocky Mountain oysters.”

“Isn’t that bull testicles?”

“Yes, coated in corn meal then deep fried.”

“You’ve got some. I’ll eat some.”

“Be sure to tell me what you think of the flavor.”

Jack’s plate had three pieces with a little cocktail sauce on the side. Jack dipped one piece in the sauce before biting into the cooked testicle. After a few chews, he swallowed. “It’s a bit rich but not fatty. It’s tender, not too chewy. The flavor is subtle with an offal nuance.”

“Not like chicken?”

“No. I like it.”

***  
“What is your next challenge?” said Jack.

“Haggis.”

“I’m sorry I’m not familiar with that.”

“It’s a pudding containing the internal organs of a sheep mixed with onion, oatmeal, suet and spices then cooked inside its stomach. It’s much more savory than it sounds.”

“I’m ready for it.”

Hannibal brought out the sheep’s stomach, cut it open and scooped out what was inside and put it on Jack’s plate.

Jack tried a few spoonfuls of it. “I only have one word for this. Scrumptious.”

Hmm, thought Hannibal. He suddenly felt overcome by the desire to make Jack gag, to make Jack be rude to him.

***  
“There is something interesting about this dessert. It is Hasma sweet soup in papaya.”

“What is hasma?”

“It is the fatty tissue around a frog’s fallopian tubes. Reconstituted and cooked with rock sugar, its texture is like tapioca. It’s sweet with a slightly salty aftertaste.”

Jack hesitated before dipping his spoon into the soup and took a sip, then another. “Remarkable,” he said, after finishing the bowl.

***  
“For today’s brunch, I have made a special omelet.”

“How special?” said Jack as Hannibal put the plate in front of him.

“It has escamoles in it, otherwise known as insect caviar.”

“What kind of insect?”

“Ants. Their larvae have a slightly nutty taste with an interesting texture. It is considered a delicacy in Mexico.”

Jack cut his omelet with the side of his fork. He paused and turned towards Hannibal. “Aren’t you going to have some?”

“I only had enough for one serving. And you’re the guest of honor.”

Jack took a bite and said, “I really like this.”

It was only Hannibal’s perfect control of his face that kept it from twitching.

***

Figuring out what would make Jack gag had become something of an obsession with Hannibal. Nothing, of course, compared to his interest in his precious mongoose but this interested him very much.

“An entomologist friend is trying to show that insects and arachnids are edible. He asked me to contribute a dish. Would you like a sample?”

“Of course.”

Hannibal smiled as he presented Jack with a deep fried tarantula on a stick.

Jack took it from him and bit off a leg. After he crunched his way through the rest of the legs, he said, “Excellent.”

What won’t he eat? Hannibal thought.  
***  
“What is this?” said Jack as he looked at the writhing octopus tentacles on his plate.

“Sannakji. It’s a Korean dish. It’s octopus tentacles flavored with sesame seeds and oil.”

“Are they supposed to be moving?”

“Yes, it’s to show how fresh it is. You must chew it thoroughly before swallowing it.” Hannibal assumed Jack would spit it out after an attempt.

However, Jack finished his plate then said, “May I have a second serving?”

That’s it, thought Hannibal, I’m going to serve him fugu next.

The End

**Author's Note:**

> http://modernfarmer.com/2013/11/tasty-testes/ talks about the Rocky Mountain oysters
> 
> http://www.taipeitimes.com/News/feat/archives/2004/09/03/2003201489 is the source of the hasma dish
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Haggis describes Haggis
> 
> http://eatyourworld.com/destinations/mexico/general_mexico/mexico_city/what_to_eat/escamoles talks about ant eggs
> 
> http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fried_spider
> 
> Fugu, of course, is puffer fish that is deadly unless butchered 100% correctly
> 
> I very nearly made him eat a charcuterie of animal penis.


End file.
